Can anyone tell me wad's wrong with me today ... today has been a realy bad day for me .
saw mr chen early in e morning .. was kinda happie . but not sure if he seen me anot . neither did i try to ask.
he still doesnt noe im hurting. he says it's all a pretence. if it is, then i should be proud of myself. it's not easy keepin up with pretences ya noe. it's tough.
he asked. "wad makes u think tt u love me and SHE doesnt.?" . tears overwhelmed me ; yet i bear with it. it's too early for me to cry . and no, i dont wan another tearing marathon . im tired .
today, was angry for quite a few times.
during second brk. wei le eat with cheryl they all, i dint not go for SIT talk. fine. den i tot i was late in meeting them in e lawn. cos bob say she walking to e lawn le. so i rushed down. when i was down, they werent there . so i called bob. she dint pick up. and i called for a few times. still no answer. then i called cheryl. only then i knew that they were just on e way.
im feeling damn peeved, my appetite all killed . so den, im going back class. not eating at all. but i caused bob to break down. for that, im so sorry. hais . all i do is bring burden to others.
aft sch. last min, cheryl come tell me she going JIVE . wow, thanks babe ! pang seh me . nii best le ! teared while going out of sch . sick of feeling so outcasted. since this way rite, dhen i mite as well outcast myself first rite? wad a gd idea i hab ! =D
walked out of e sch, hoping tt i dun see anyone i noe. it just feels so weird. i tink it'll take some time to get used to, but it's not a big problem.
Mr chen.. why do u hafta make my day worse .. you said everythin was a pretence. but where were u when i was tearing. those tears were meant for u, yet u dun feel anythin at all .
I think, this time, i'll break other ppl de relationship. i dun believe in love no longer. all i believe is money. money can be trusted. money makes the world go round. I will play ard, break ppl dhe relationship. other ppl dun hab happie relationship will be just like me . isnt tt great ? many great ideas from me today ! ^^
hais . i write all these, not tryin to prove how sad i am, nor am i askin mr chen back. i dun see any point in askin him back. e security, everythin, all gone. it'll be different. every i wrote here is all sincere to myself. i dun need to lie to myself, do i ?
toodles .
From Mabel; with ♥
10:23 PM
